Worst Roommate Ever - Janice Griffith [ESSENTIAL]
Privacy is a foreign concept to Janice. To her, what is yours is hers. You come home to find her using your expensive skincare, and when you confront her, she hits you with the classic gaslight: "Oh my god, relax, it was just a little bit. Why are you being so stingy?"
But it goes beyond products. Janice invites her boyfriend, "Chad," over constantly. He eats your food, hogs the TV, and essentially lives there rent-free. When you try to discuss the "guest policy" in the lease, Janice flips the script. "You’re just jealous because you’re single," she’ll snap, turning a logical conversation about bills into a personal attack on your love life.
Let’s discuss the refrigerator. The refrigerator is sacred ground. But Janice Griffith treated it like a war zone. She would drink the last of the oat milk and put the empty carton back. She would eat leftovers that had Megan’s name written on them in permanent marker, then claim, “I thought that was a suggestion, not a rule.”
But the pièce de résistance? Janice began charging Megan for “food sharing fees.” Yes. After eating Megan’s organic free-range eggs, Janice Venmo-requested $15 for “the emotional labor of allowing you to stock the fridge.” Worst roommate ever - Janice Griffith
When Megan refused to pay, Janice bought a mini-fridge for her room, padlocked it, and started hoarding all the shared condiments. Ketchup. Mustard. Even the soy sauce packets from takeout. Everything was under lock and key.
If you value your credit score, never co-sign a lease with Janice Griffith. She has an excuse for everything. Rent is due on the 1st, but Janice gets paid on the 3rd. Then the 5th. Then something happened with her car. Then her grandma sent money but the transfer is pending.
She always has the money for DoorDash delivery fees, iced lattes, and weekend brunches, but when it comes time to pay the electric bill, she is suddenly destitute. She thrives on the "Venmo Float," borrowing $20 here and $50 there, promising to pay you back "Friday," a Friday that never seems to arrive. Privacy is a foreign concept to Janice
Every story about the worst roommate ever has an uninvited guest. Janice’s was a man named “Chad” (obviously). Chad had no job, no shirt, and a persistent odor of stale cigarettes and broken dreams. He moved in on a Tuesday, claiming it was “just for the night.” Three months later, he was sleeping on the couch, using Megan’s towel, and eating her cereal with his hands.
When Megan confronted Janice, Janice said, “Chad is an artist. He needs stability to finish his graphic novel about a zombie skateboarder. You wouldn’t understand creativity.”
Chad’s graphic novel never materialized. But his 4 AM drum circle practice sessions did. Why are you being so stingy
If you take one thing from this cautionary tale, let it be these hard-won lessons:
At this point, you might think it can’t get worse. You’d be wrong. Because the title of the worst roommate ever requires a level of audacity that borders on supervillainy.
Megan started receiving credit card statements for cards she never opened. A department store card. A gas station card. And then, a $3,000 balance at a petting zoo (presumably for Squiggles the goat’s grooming needs).
It was Janice. Of course it was Janice. She had taken Megan’s mail, used her social security number (which she found in an unlocked drawer during a “cleaning spree”), and opened six lines of credit. When the police arrived, Janice’s defense was: “We’re basically family. What’s mine is mine, and what’s hers is also mine. That’s just math.”