Dv-s The Skaafin Prize May 2026

Relmus Hlaalu, a disgraced former Factotum of the Clockwork Apostles, completed both prior stages. When he opened the chest, he found nothing—except a parchment reading: “You have won the right to desire. Do so now.”

Relmus wished for “the absolute and irreversible destruction of all Skaafin.”
Voxi-Valei smiled, declared him the victor, and then explained: “As the last Skaafin, I am the executor of your wish. Granting it would annihilate me—and thus annul the granting. Your wish is therefore self-canceling. Congratulations.”

He received no other prize. He remains the only known winner of the Skaafin Prize.

To be considered for the prize, candidates must first achieve a DV-s score of at least 85 out of 100. The DV-s score is calculated using three weighted metrics:

A candidate’s DV-s score is updated in real time on a leaderboard. Only those who maintain the 85+ threshold for six consecutive weeks become eligible. DV-s The Skaafin Prize

You don’t need the official infrastructure to benefit from the Skaafin framework. Adapt its core principles to:

According to the fragmentary Valei Codex (a single brass folio recovered from the Bthuand Mzahnch ruins), the Skaafin Prize was a three-stage trial open to any mortal who could physically enter the Clockwork City’s outer maintenance shafts.

Stage One: The Refusal of Logic
Contestants were presented with a perfectly functional Dwemer Cog-Furnace and commanded to “improve it without addition or removal.” The correct solution—accepted only by Voxi-Valei—was to stare at the furnace in silence for exactly three hours, thereby acknowledging its perfection. Those who attempted physical alteration were ejected via a localized teleportation into the Ashlands, inverted.

Stage Two: The Debt of Silence
Each contestant received a whispered “true secret” from Voxi-Valei (e.g., “Sotha Sil regrets the color brass” or “The Heart of Lorkhan has a second chamber”). They were then forbidden from speaking, writing, or signing this secret for seven days. Any breach resulted in the contestant’s voice being permanently replaced with the sound of a malfunctioning Dwemer steam-whistle. Relmus Hlaalu, a disgraced former Factotum of the

Stage Three: The Skaafin Prize Proper
Survivors of the first two stages were brought before a brass chest containing the Prize—described in the Codex as “a wish without consequence, voided by its own fulfillment.” Only one mortal is recorded to have reached this stage: a Dunmer outcast named Relmus Hlaalu.

If the Nobel Prize rewards “beneficial” work and the Oscars reward “excellence,” the DV-s The Skaafin Prize rewards discordant brilliance. Eligible works include:

Notably, traditional novels are often rejected unless they contain intentional errors, missing chapters, or fake appendices that mislead the reader. This is not a prize for polish; it is a prize for provocation.

Eligibility alone does not grant the prize. Once qualified, participants enter a 7-day Challenge Round, which consists of: A candidate’s DV-s score is updated in real

Completing the Challenge Round successfully unlocks the final stage.

Scholars note three profound consequences of the event:

The history of The Skaafin Prize is a graveyard of ambition.